Tell

I feel like blog posts should contain profound writing. 

It's unlikely that this blog post will.

Just so you know.

I'm still listening to lots of podcasts while I do other things - I believe that may fall under the 'multi- tasking' heading. I'm quite enjoying the Pandolly podcast. Yes they really are that posh but my husband now writes for The Times and he's not that posh. Sometimes he eats Branston Pickle sandwiches (sorry Greig......)

I have recently discovered peach concealer. Did you know that you should use peach concealer to cover up dark under eye circles?. I did not. But now I'm slapping the stuff on all the time and it's like magic, my mind is blown. Also experimenting with green concealer to hide those weird red bits on my nose. Any other life changing tips you have hit me with them. Seriously you'd think that 20+ years reading women's magazines I might have a clue what I'm doing by now.

Have you tried this? It tastes like heaven. I can't buy it though because I'll eat the whole jar in one go. But you might well have more willpower than me.

Can I ask you about off the shoulder fashions? Is it possible to wear a top or dress and not spend the whole day pulling it back onto your shoulder? Should I just accept that I'm going to feel like my clothes are going to fall off and not investigate this trend further?

Pray tell.

Shorty. It's your birthday...........

Turning 36 was good. The sun was shining. I made it to 36 in one piece and largely unscathed by the ravages of modern life. I'm just glad to be here with so many wonderful people here both big and small. I'm also happy to eat frozen Toblerone cake.

See I even took a picture to commemorate the passing of another fantastic year.

They are all so lovely no?

I feel like I've made peace with my birthday which I appreciate is a strange statement to make. They always made me feel a bit melancholy. I think it's common for children of divorced parents to feel a bit displaced on 'special days'. I always had a sense that I was missing something or wasn't in the right place or just felt a bit off. I didn't want a big fuss but would be childishly upset if no-one made a fuss of me.

But now I have three little people who love having a day of celebration and it would take a heart of stone not to join in with their exuberance. 

Were you and I to have a chat on any normal day I would possibly moan about the little things. Whinge about the work. Prattle on about why there are never enough hours in the day. But I hope what you would hear would be how fortunate I am. The blessing of a house to clean, of food to cook and children to squeeze.

This life is the one I hoped was in front of me as I grew up. Being the middle of a noisy, messy, glorious family. A partner who I truly consider to be the best human being I know. And a small but amazing network of friends I know are always there. Yes indeed. 

The wrong side

Today was just an ordinary day. Nothing exceptional happened. Normal stuff was the name of the game.

The only difference was my all day, long lasting, deeply pervading, utterly foul mood.

This is how it happened. I woke up. I went about my day. The universe conspired to be as annoying as possible. I got annoyed. The more annoyed I got the more I thought about what a twonk I am. And eventually I came full circle and laughed at myself. Which is nice. I think this might mean I'm a grown up now.

I had to return a pair of stupid jeans to a stupid shop. When I bought the jeans I bought one pair of blue and one pair of black. Same style, same size, different colour. Thinking I was making a fantastic decision which would save me time and hassle. I only tried on the blue pair. The black pair didn't fit. I couldn't live with the resulting muffin top so they had to go back.

That's what started the terrible mood.

After getting lunch for the littles I tried to squeeze in some weights. Got changed. ( Hate getting changed into workout clothes, such a waste of time). Laptop ran out of juice before I finshed. Bah.

Realise I should clean the bath as it was still full of grass from last nights bathtime. The other parent in this family bathed the offspring after they'd been rampaging through freshly cut grass but didn't think to clean up the resulting mess. I could have left it but everytime I entered the bathroom the little storm cloud above my head would have grown a smidge.

Realise I've forgotten to marinade the chicken for tea. Do it in a hurry. Chop vegetables in a hurry. Get mad that eating healthy food requires so much bloody planning and shopping and chopping. All the chopping. Hence the hurry.

Drag hoover outside to clean car because I cannot bear it one second longer. It is really so mucky inside I'm a little ashamed. But quite proud when it's clean again. For at least an afternoon right?

Get mad that poor Baxter has a sore bum again. He really seems to have the most sensitive skin on his booty.

Welcome husband home actually laughing at my own ridiculousness.  Life is funny isn't it? The things that get us down and preoccupy us. I'm glad I don't have many days like today. And that I have some lovely bright pink macaron (thank you!) and the Great British Sewing Bee to watch.

Photos from the weekend when I was considerably cheerier:)

 

 

So that was April

The news I know you've all been waiting for. I bought a pair of dungarees. I have failed to wear them out of the house yet but I will!

I logged on to the old bliggety blog this morning and realised it's been a whole month since I've posted which might be the longest time I've not blogged since January 2011 when I first hopped on this train.

There's a whole host of reasons why, which you may or may not be interested in but I'm hoping to get back into writing here more regularly and keeping our family album up to date. Does anyone out there actually have a family album filled with printed photos?

I wrote last time that Whole 30 has been a huge change in my life. It has changed food, meals, shopping and more around here. I think it's sparked change in other changes of my life too. I'm trying to be more deliberate and conscious about all the stuff.

For years now when people ask me what I do I explain apologetically that I only work one day a week and the rest of the time I only at home parent my three small children. So I decided to stop doing that because it's rubbish. I work very hard when I'm at work and I work very hard when I'm at home, no apology needed.  And I do it this way because I choose to. This way what I earn contributes to our family finances rather than pays for childcare. This way I get to do most of the school runs and I get to spend as much time with my children as I can whilst they are young. I get to colour and paint and dress up and Lego everyday. I am making memories and shaping little minds. No need to be sorry about that so I won't.

I suspect people think that at home parents have more 'free' time than parents who work outside the home. I don't know who's right on that one I just know that while my kids are awake my time is spoken for. If I'm not actually doing, reading, changing, feeding etc I'm cleaning and preparing for what's coming next. Go me.

But I also know that even when no one 'needs' me I feel like I can't switch off. There's always something I could (should?) be doing. As a result I don't feel like there was much time left for me to choose what I want to do. Or there wasn't and that was making me crankier and grumpier than I needed to be. And no one was going to sanction that time for me so I had to take it myself. The one thing I do have is flexibility. There are a few times in my day when I need to be in a certain place at a certain time but the rest of the stuff I do I'm free to do anytime I please.

So I decided to change the way my day happens, to fit things in here and there, to prioritise some things over others and to see how I felt.

I felt like I had the food thing much more under control. I also know I wanted to fit exercise in to my daily life. Not just moving around - I already do a lot of that - but dedicated, committed breaking a sweat exercise. I want to be a good example and I want to feel fitter and healthier. It's that simple.

I signed up for Beachbody on Demand so that I could work out at home with my laptop. I completed 60 days of the Insanity workout. It was hard. Making time for that was hard. Missing other things to do that 6 days a week was hard. Working out at 9pm on work days was hard. But would you believe it worked? I'm fitter for sure and now I really want to continue. I've created a new habit which I wasn't sure I would manage. I don't want to recommend the Beachbody route specifically because it's definitely not for everyone. But I would recommend making plans to do something for you and sticking to it come metaphorical hell or high water. I'm excited to see what happens next.

Baxter has dropped his morning nap so I usually try to exercise when he is sleeping at lunchtime. That means for the 40 minutes or so I'm doing that Grier is more than likely watching television, sometimes drawing or playing. And I feel guilty about that but this is the easiest way for me to get it done and still be able to keep on top of everything else. 

So that's my long winded explanation of why the blog has dropped off the priority list for a while. I would like to find a way to make a little space for it but we shall see what happens. I feel like we all deserve a little time and space to do more of what makes us happy, don't you?

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This

Lots been happening. Too much to write about it here. Been trying to stay on the exercise train by making it a habit that sticks rather than something I do when everthing else has been taken care of.

I always wish I had more time for reading. I can't make any more time in my day - especially not when I'm trying to fit exercise in daily too. But I can listen to podcasts and audio books whilst I cook and clean and do all the other things which need done. I'm really enjoying this Happiness podcast even though I didn't manage to finish the book. An episode of the Freakonomics podcast never fails to both entertain me and make me feel like I've learned something too.

Still eating mostly Whole 30 compliant meals. It's been a year since I first started that particular journey and I'm so glad I did. It's changed the way I see food completely and changed the way I feed my family.

I'm reading this book by Oliver James and finding it has provided lots of food for thought. I can only actually read a little bit at a time because I need to mull over the previous section before I can move onto the next.

And finally I'd really like to buy a pair of dungarees. But am I too old? Am I not hipster enough? Am I delusional to think they are cool?

All very important questions.

Snuggles