See, it got so serious it actually needed faux swearing. There may or may not be more to come.
So I think the last time I posted I was a bit whiny about broken things. And then came vomitgate.
We ordered pizza from Pizza Express last weekend, we chose to order from there on account of their Coeliac UK accreditation which you can read about here.
I have no forensic evidence that their pizza poisoned me, other than lots and lots of vomit, and I think you'll agree that's circumstantial evidence at best.
Joking aside, it was no joke and there was lots of bad language and not the faux kind.
As I was eating the pizza I felt a bit 'gurgly'. Carried on eating because you know, pizza. And I'm a glutton.
Went to bed complaining of stomachache. Slept all night, probably on account of the head cold. Early morning trip to the toilet if you know what I mean (I think you do). Feel a bit sick. Feel so tired. Be very sick. Feel very tired. Sleep. Repeat for 12 hours.
I couldn't actually keep water down but had a raging thirst.
At one point Greig suggested perhaps it was food poisoning and not gluten poisoning which I suppose is possible. The rash I've had, back pain, fatigue and headaches make me think it almost definitely was gluten poisoning but again I have no way of proving that. Which makes me mad/sad in equal measure.
I have not as yet reported my illness to the manager of Pizza Express in Livingston because I only really resumed eating solid food on Thursday and both kids have been coughy/coldy this week so we've mostly been at home coughing and sneezing (them) and trying to stay awake and not be sick (me). But I will. And I've contacted Coeliac UK to give them the benefit of my experience on this one.
So you'd think after all that dramarama I'd chose not to eat outside of my home for a little while but social events are not generally compatible with wheat avoidance. So I had lunch out yesterday with lovely work colleagues. The restaurant server asked me if I was on the Atkins diet (so 2004!) because he gets a lot of chancers in claiming to be intolerant when really they're not. So as if to prove his point they whacked some salad dressing on my meal which I suspect is to blame for my abdominal pain and early morning toilet trip today (you know what I mean) with all day bone drilling headache. Although I'll take all that over the aforementioned vomitgate.
Gosh this blog is fun these days.