No parenting parenting

I've noticed a bit of a thing going on party people.

Both on the interwebz and in real life.

There's a lot of parents opting out of parenting. Like it's actually a thing you can subscribe to. You can choose to be 'hands off' and then explain in by saying it's backed up by research and will help their kids become confident individuals (read obnoxious brats).

This generally allows your child to be mean to mine, be rude to me, damage other's property and generally be a little so and so all the while smug in your choice of parenting 'tribe'.

I'm going to call you on that. 

I'm a fan of the no make up, make up look. I'm not a fan of the no parenting, parenting philosophy which involves just letting your kids be feral while you sup a latte. It's fashionable to say you shun all parenting advice and just go with your gut and not have any rules. I don't buy it.

It's not important to me what the rules are in your house. I just think it's important that you have some. I find the most important rules can be summed up under the heading 'don't be an arse'. That pretty much covers it. The devil is of course in the detail but I think you can probably work those out for yourself.

I think what is confusing me so much about this is the fact that most of these parents genuinely believe their children (and by association their parenting) is superior. They want everyone to see how wonderful their offspring are alongside the fact that they are doing so well without the parents even needing to try. They won't admit to any of the things the rest of us worry about - their children just magically started using the toilet and eating avocados all by themselves.

Don't get me wrong I don't think that excessively hands on parenting is any better for kids. Constantly striving to meet  your kids needs before they even ask, doing everything for your kids or taking a 'Tiger Mom' (or Dad) approach doesn't seem desirable either. I suspect lots of these hands off parents are only that way when it suits them - when they want to enjoy a hot drink in peace for example - but also have their offspring signed up to every hot house toddler course going, which is hardly hands off is it?

This is all conjecture of course, maybe I am genuinely one of the few people who struggles with getting my kids to always eat well, not whine and moan and be considerate of others. Maybe I'm the odd one out. 

Or maybe I just call a spade a spade and don't pretend they came out speaking Mandarin and splitting atoms, maybe I call my kids out when they hit, or screech or worse. Thoughts?