This is somewhat of a pre emptive blog post in case anyone from social services is investigating me. They might have seen me cajoling (dragging?) my very obstreperous 2 year old up the main street as she screamed and her big brother skittered along beside me because he's 5 and old enough to know that the #*&^ has indeed hit the fan.

A normal morning, we picked Brodie up from nursery. He wanted to play with his friends for a while which was find, but 10 minutes turned to 15 and I was aware we had a library trip planned and that B and G would be hungry sooner than later so I called Brodie over. He has glue ear but by the 10th attempt I was losing patience. I eventually resorted to chasing him around for a few minutes, eventually making eye contact and we were on our way to the library.

The library is our happy place. The staff are friendly, it's big and light and usually nearly empty. I took Brodie there as a baby and it was one of our first outings when Grier arrived.

I dropped the kids in the children's section and set about returning our books self service style. And then I heard it, the rumpus coming from the room I'd just left. The door was open so I couldn't see them but I could definitely hear them. And as I tried to deal with the precariously stacked mega pile of books they got louder and angrier and then the screaming started. And then it was game over.



We left, with Grier screaming and bucking in the buggy and Brodie kind of stunned.

Apparently Grier had shoved him so he shoved her back. I probably don't need to explain the rest. No one was completely blameless, especially not me.

If I could go back I'd have probably counted to ten before going to get them, and then talked it out. But I just lost it. Silent, seething.

Grier made up for my lack of vocalising as she screamed and screamed and screamed. And then tipped the buggy backwards. She was unhurt but even more angry. I took her out the buggy in case she did it again but she was furious at having to walk and kept trying to get back in.

So if you happened to see us this morning that's the back story. Me pushing the buggy holding Grier's hand while she alternated between trying to get away and trying to launch herself back in the buggy. I was a sweaty, exasperated, bookless mess.

When we eventually made it back home I suggested we all have a few minutes calming down time in our own rooms.

Then we talked it out, and we'll go back to the library after naptime so we can say sorry to the ladies for screaming and so we can get out books. And once again reclaim our happy place.

We all have days when the wheels fall off. The perfect storm which results in poor behaviour all round. Sometimes it's hard being the grown up.........



The library really screwed up my attempt at restorative justice - it closes at 3pm on Wednesdays, what's that all about? Soon librarians will work as few hours as teachers. So we bought some Soleros and ate them sitting on a bench watching the great and good go about their business. Our souls are soothed and our faces sticky.