Sorry

 I was right not to worry about Brodie and Grier adjusting to having a new baby brother who takes up lots of our time and who is seemingly the source of lots of change. As expected they have been fantastically accepting so far and their response has been great excitement and they are keen to help and look after Baxter.

So the kids have been great. I wish the same could be said for the adults around here (me).

Saturday was a rough day. I had a terrible headache and the lack of sleep hit me like a truck. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and stay there. But there was a baby to feed and children to tend to so I popped painkillers and kept going. Greig took the big and little boys to visit relatives while Grier napped and the plan was I got a couple of hours sleep too. Only I couldn't sleep because only when they had left did I realise my baby was about a mile away, with his father, and I cried (a lot). A mile is a long way when you are awash with post partum hormones.

Later on that evening Grier and I had the kind of battle you can only have with a Threenager. I failed to let her put her own toothpaste on the brush. And then I failed by shouting at her and putting her in her room. And I failed because I let my temper get the better of me and I lost it completely.

I was tired and in pain and did I mention tired? But as soon as the row subsided I felt so bad. She is only three and she is adjusting and dealing with lots of feelings like we all are.

So it was kind of fabulous that when we checked on her she was sitting up in bed wearing fairy wings and waving a wand and her first words to me were,

'Have you come to say sorry to me?'

Because I had come to say sorry and I'm so proud that she was not frightened by me losing my temper. Once again she had proved to me that she is strong and confident and knows her own mind. And we laughed and I cried some more - with snot and everything.

I love that my family still love me when I'm at my very, very worst. And that my children have taught me everything I need to know about acceptance and forgiveness and Love.