So Monday was great.
Tuesday went swimmingly
And so it went on. This has been the week the tide turned. When you literally come into the light and look back having had not a clue you were in the tunnel, being completely tunnel visioned.
This week I have felt like myself. I suspect it's some combination of hormones evening out, sunshine making an appearance and eating all my veggies. I also got to see lots of friends this week which never fails to give me reason to smile.
It's not that I've been unhappy, on the contrary I have frequently been completely overtaken by euphoria and happy tears which seem to accompany a new baby for me. The highest highs imaginable which make your toes tingle because you just love everyone so.dang.much. Luckily for me I tend to be surrounded by people I gave birth to or that could get awkward. But with those incredible emotions there's always a flip side, the sort of despair which is just awful.
I'm an all or nothing person and over the past few months I've tended to give up on days completely by 8.15am if the baby won't nap or some other minor issue rears it's head. But today faced with one of the situations which would normally have me hyperventilating with anxiety - trapped in the car with a screaming baby whilst the other two hold their hands over their ears anyone? - I just breathed through it. There was nothing I could do - the hungry baby was safe in his car seat, all be it screaming til he was purple. And we made it home and he was fed and soothed back to his normal smiling little happy self. Life went on, small time adversity faced and conquered, on to the next.
Baxter has moved into 3-6 month clothes - (Oh OKAY, he's been wearing them for weeks - just let me stay on the self denial train a bit longer) and I feel that we've moved on too. A little bit out of the new baby bubble, it's close enough that I can still taste his newborness but far enough away I have a bit of perspective, some control over my bodily functions and feel a bit less extreme all round.
Full disclosure - I write this post a few weeks ago but delayed publishing it because it felt a bit show offy and I knew I would look like a complete F**k*** twat if I had a meltdown and the wheels fell off. I don't have all the answers, I make many, many mistakes, sometimes my head is so far up my own backside I fear it may be there forever. But Positive Mental Attitude, it makes all the difference.