Brodie at Six

When I had a baby six years ago smartphones were not really a thing and there was no tv on demand. I know. I know.

How did I survive breastfeeding my firstborn? I'll tell you how - by browsing the internet on the laptop using my toes. I'm not even kidding.

But a lot has happened since then, Brodie is six. Six years old, six years wonderful.

Dear Brodie

You can run so fast, ride a bike, read a book, compose a song and a million other fantastic things. In the past year since your fifth birthday you have discovered Star Wars, discovered football and discovered that chocolate flavoured cereal 'Os' exist. You are a boy with a big heart, a gentle touch, an easy humour and an iron will. A good combination I like to think.

You are as curious as ever, your smile is truly contagious. You like to make up rhymes and you flip numbers around in your brain, playing with them. You love playing Star Wars Lego on the Wii with your Dad.

You play with Grier a lot. You like to play Pirates, or Star Wars or sometimes Fairies at her request. You lie beside Baxter and talk to him stroking his soft cheek and you become visibly upset when he cries and you think  he is sad. Big brothering is your jam and your siblings adore you, as do we.

At not quite six you have retained an innocence which I wish I could preserve in you forever. You are open and come by your happiness and hurts honestly.  I see your Dad in you, the wish to keep life simple and take people by their word. You see the best in the world and it's inhabitants.

You think there is nothing funnier than nonsense words and changing the words to any of your favourite stories has you in hysterics.

I am revelling in this time of knowing what will make you laugh, knowing which toys will light up your eyes, how to make it better when it goes wrong, because something tells me it won't last forever......

Have the happiest of birthdays my lovely boy, I love you to the moon and the stars, to Jupiter and Mars.

Love Mum x

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Deep Sea Adventure

Brodie's birthday started with presents and pancakes. He unwrapped his fishtank with the promise of a trip to choose some inhabitants later in the day. The fish tank has been set up in our bedroom hidden under a box since Friday and quite how it was no discovered I have no idea. It was so noisy because it wasn't quite full that I was convinced both kids would hear it and investigate but no! So the surprise was a good one.

Brodie went to nursery and I picked him up just in time to see in get a lovely card and a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. We headed straight to the aquarium and had car picnic - and headed in. It was so quiet that the kids could explore freely and explore they did! Brodie's favourites were some neon puffer fish and Grier liked the turtle.

Both kids loved the travelling tunnel - I think we did 8 times round or so? It was so quiet often we felt like we were the only visitors and when both kids lay down on the conveyor belt to look up at the tunnel it felt wrong to tell them off as it was exactly what we would have done had we not been concerned with moving parts and limbs and you know, what other people think......

This is a carefully orchestrated self timer shot in which I left the strap of my camera dangling down.....also checky my windy woo hair do.

Then we headed to pick up the fish for the tank. Unfortunately the pet shop had just had a delivery of fish so couldn't sell us any but luckily we had a back up plan and we headed to the garden centre. Brodie choose 2 Black Moors and quickly named them Black and Mack and I can happily report they are happy in their new tank. Well they look happyish, for black, slightly emo bulgy eyed fish.

Being five, is ex.haus.ting


Crazy

My boy is going to be five tomorrow and I'm a little afraid my crazy is showing. 

I'm having some kind of post partum flashback. When Brodie was a tiny baby we both struggled with adjusting to our new togetherness. He seemed to hate being outside of the womb and if I'm honest I often longed for a time when he was back in there silent and safe. But slowly and surely we found our way. And now he is my right hand (little) man. 

I cannot tell you much I enjoy his company, that even though he talks all day long I'm always interested in what he's going to say next. Every time he learns something new he doesn't just remember it or retain it he actually lives it. He carries it with him and uses it to build another bridge, make another connection and learn something new. He's freaking incredible.

That's not to say it's all unicorns and rainbows around here, how could it be? We still have sorry to say, mistakes to make and meltdowns to navigate. 

Turning five seems so big and such a milestone. I can't help but think back to how I unsure I was five years ago, how difficult it all seemed, how crushingly huge the responsibility was. But now I know, without a shadow that all I needed to do was love him with everything I have. The good, the bad and the rest. Allowing my tiny baby to love me in the only way he knew, which was relying on me completely was all I needed to work out this mothering thing. His dependency on me gave me confidence, helped me make good decisions more often than not and showing my crazy to my newborn son healed parts of me that I had no idea needed sticking back together.

I had no idea that would happen.

And every birthday or 'big' moment I feel those wobbles again. I feel like I'm not going to manage to grow and stretch to make room for the changes. But I do, and I will, and he's five.

Like the sentimental old fools we are Greig and I have been looking though old videos and if I was to post all of my favourites you'd be here for hours. But I can't resist this from the week after Grier was born - he's 2 and a half. I just showed him this clip and he giggled and giggled and giggled. I should probably add subtitles for those not from central Scotland but basically he says he likes eating and racing and reading and eating and computers and eating. So not much change there then!